im looking though you

WHERE DID YOU GO?

yesterdays poem

all of these roads, they keep leading me forward, pushing me along
& im being whispered at from a million different directions
while this flickering candle leads the way
im throwing my hands up in surrender,
in complete dis-attachment
because
this path is narrow
and quite crooked
i dare not walk it along
blurry eyes and contagious
finding my way in the dark
so how am i supposed to let you know i need you
more than anything
when my voice is broken
will you hear me, if i fall/
will you help me up,lead me through it all?
im walking though this valley
howling wind, gnashing teeth, death grip
but your right here holding me.

im wide awake...

its almost the end of october. the days are sliding closer to winter, how wonderful
i can finally breathe. and thats pretty important

ive been writing more lately, but more along the lines of poetry and such.
i cant finish the short story i started more than a year ago for some reason. maybe i need to loosen up and not be so perfectionist when it comes to writing?

IM DRINKING HOT CHOCOLATE and it tastes divine
IT RAINED all day a couple of days ago. i loved that day
I CUT MY HAIR short. i love that too
I BOUGHT black and white film, im going to use it in my holga when i go to san fransisco on the train on wednesday. capture the world

THE only thing certain, IS that nothing is certain.
i got this in a fortune cookie. smart cookie.

hey child things are looking down,
thats okay
you dont need to win anyways
dont be afraid
just eat up all the grey
and it will fade away
-patrick watson



i went to nebraska. i came back
i walked down memory lane once more.
im sad i cant look into my dads eyes anymore. im sad that hes not happy
and theres nothing i can do about it.
he let me have his 15 year old watercolors from russia.
they are amazing. im in love with them


im writing a 3 week account of my life in picture/thought/poetry/idea/quote/other stuff form for a random stranger (well its this guy that works at a bookstore, so i was in his presence for 15+ minutes)
so its a journaling account/ a roll of film he has to develop
and im sending it to him at the end of october
letting something random happen in his life.
and i figure he will enjoy it since he works in a bookstore

:D im excited and im having fun with it too

i failed my second written test for driving. blah one more chance, maybe tomorrow tomorrow ill go?

papercrane. gold dollars. colors. flower pen. i feel like im in a postcard. sunflower seeds. dying flowers. one light. bangs.i love you. aeroplanes. black glasses. watercolors clocks. the ticking of time.
whats to be done....