"it doesnt matter", i said.

she smiled at me.

"love always matters"she said.

i was in no position to argue.

And if you look a little closer, you'll see that if a person believes that life is terrible, they’ll constantly look for proof of this, to confirm their view of the world. They’ll find quotes and situations and events in their life and magnify them a hundred times.If a person believes that life is wonderful, they’ll look for the corresponding signage and behave in a similar manner to the previous person with their view of the world.Often, this is the same person on different days of the week.

from a blog by "i wrote this for you"

"Sometimes people are beautiful.

Not in looks.

Not in what they say.

Just in what they are."

-Markus Zusakfrom :I Am The Messenger

lets talk about ...

L-O-V-E....
is for the way you look at me
is for the only one i see
is very very extraordinary
is everything that i adore


alright i just couldnt wait to write some more. and who ways i have to wait a whole day right? so i thought i would talk about something everybody wants and need!
love,
what a wonderful and dangerous word

personally i decided a long time ago that i wouldnt date until college, and even then not to just fall in love with the fist person i see (that would be akward)

"hi ... blah blah blah... who are you"
oh, well im the man of your deams... blah blah.. lets fall in love"
YA RIGHT!

so anyways, even that phrase "fall in love" is such a trap. obviously if you can fall into it, you can hop or fly right out.
now dont get my wrong i love well.. love
but its crazy when little 12, 13 14 or even 18 year olds "love each other", because seriously
i just dont get it. when did purity and true love get kicked out of society?

heres i quote from "Belong to me" by Marissa de los santos that is just, beautifly written:

"whenever Dev remembered that night, and he'd remember it for a long time, what never stopped amazing him was how normal it felt. not everyday, no big deal normal. more like extragalactic, superradiant, nigh in a million normal. normal turned up a couple of thousand of notches, but normal none the less becuase, against all odds, with so many reasons to feel nervous, shy, and out of place,
Dev spent the entire evening feeling precisly and absolutely like himself.
pg. 138


isnt that amazing and true,
to feel just like yourself, not trying to impress anyone or make them love you. just being yourself and nothing more or less. thats what im looking for , and i will not settle for anyting less! so why even date or pretend to love someone, when in the long run, your just hurting yourself.

respect outweighs love in the long run.
no respect = no love

why arent thing like philosphy and life lessons (or something like that) taught in schools??
if you screw up something like a relationship or job interview,
geometry or history of france isnt going to help you

oh boy...

my first blog (obviously). and i must say that i am super excited, although it looks pretty blank right now.
honestly (since i dont plan on lying), the reason i started was because of the movie "julie and julia". ya, after paying 8 dollars to go watch it i realized how fun it looks.
so here i am, and im excited becuase after "X" amount of months its going to be so interesting to look back and see what i was concerned/happy/overjoyed/sad about... and then ill laugh (in a nice way) at myself becuase it will be all over by then.
i dont think a huge amount of people are going to read this, and that is A OK with me :D because ultimatly this is for my own benefit. to pour my feelings out and hope that somewhere/somehow somebody is impacted by it. (if only a little) and well isnt that what all blogs are about?

hhhmmm... i should be writing an essay for TOK (theory of knowledge) right now, but this sounds way more interesting. do you blame me? im such a procrastinator, and i keep hoping that one day ill magically wake up and want to finish me homework days and weeks before its do, but... sadly that day hasnt come yet

im dissapointed in the weather. its almost september for goodness sakes and its too hot for my liking.
one day i"ll embrace seattle, by living in its rainy/snowy/perfect weather. but for now, california will have to do




dont you sometimes wish you could turn memories from your brain into pictures and put them on blogs, or into real life.
if i could i would, i would have to put one up from way back when...

back in nebraska (probably 2000 or something)
when i was like 9 or 10, and it was december and snow had fallen
and so being the enchanted kid i was, i went outside and took
a glass plate with me to put snow in.. well to make a long story short
it broke.
so there i was cold and with broken glass in the snow ...
that look on my face is what i would want to transfer into a photo.

crazy how certain moments in life come back to you years later. ya?