well its fall break time.
its already tuesday and im such a procrastinor.
i just want to sleep, and travel in my deams.
that would be cool.

on sunday i played pool, and found out that i really suck.
then we went to the american river. by the bridge. and it was extremely scary because it seemed like their was a figure in the middle of the bridge. but it wasnt moving. and then it looked like a ghost.
and we started running and screaming. oh goodness, i was scared.
then we went to a park and found blocks of ice there.
so we went ice blocking. super duper fun.
except the butt getting cold and wet part.

it was a great evening.

i bought a dark blue hat with a big pom pom at the end of it. i really like it.


my phone bill was 90 dollars this month. makes me want to cuss, because seriously what the f***** almost a hundred dollars for what.
dont these phone companies make enough money. what are they taking all our money for.


im never getting a credit card. ever. never. evernever. it would be suicide. i would then have to stay in this machine of a country for ever. i would slowly rot. im never getting a credit card. no matter what. this is a vow

im reading "through painted deserts" by donald miller
wow. i have to go on a road trip. i need to experience life on the drive. and not comfortable at that. i really want to wake up to sunsets and fall asleep to sunrises. if need be work for a while somewhere just so i have enough money to move on.
live in nature, in harmony with my surroundings. i think my sould would flourish there. i just need a car first...


i havent talked to my dad in a while. maybe a month already. this truth is sadening to me. it makes me want to sit and cry. but crying doesnt change anything. doesnt make anything better.
i dont really have much to say to him. even though i love him. that doesnt mean i have much to say.
we are living seperate lives. i see different sights. he smells different smells. and even though we see the same moon. i feel like we arenet related anymore.

im working 20 hours this week. i like working. i hate how fast i can waste money. having maggie doesnt help. and she wont understand until she starts working. but thats life right. work work work, and not much to show for it. except a laptop and a dresser drawer. and a bunch of little stuff.

well. thats that.
love, angei

i have to get away from here. it needs to be done.

i have to leave this place i call home, these people i love.

staying here is killing me. i die

if i remain..

i will slowly sofocate in the colm, known of this place.

i need to have anew road stretched out before me.

i need the open universe of the night sky layed out as a map above me.

a billion stars have to burn and i need to feel fireflies fluttereing by my opensoul

it would be suicide if i stay

this city with its capturing walls and blank stares will be the death of me.

i have to get out of this glass jar.

i need fresh air.

i am extremely exhausted. this is what feeling dead must be, but probably a million times worst.
this week has been hecktic, wait lets correct that. this whole months been crazy. and i know the uncoming weeks will be even crazier.
so far this year ive forgotton 2 very importan things.
first of. i forgot the deadline for IB testing and i just because the coordinator is super nice did i get financial aid.
2nd i forgot about buying the cap and gown, which would have been at discount price today. ugggghhhh. i know its not really anybodies fault. but why cant people just remind each other. or have announcements for these kinds of things. i feel like such a ... um whats the word
forgetful old fart.
man, and ive been so angry these past few days. at life i guess . but thats not the right attitude.
ill have to work on that.
well a tired wave just hit me.
ill write soon..